2 years, 3 months, and 13 days.
It was a Monday. April 14th.
When I started this blog more than two years ago, I blogged about something called “Don’t Break the Chain”. It was a writing technique practiced by comedian Jerry Seinfeld. It was simply a promise to oneself to write every day. Using a calendar and a red marker, you cross days off that you wrote, creating a chain… Hence DON’T BREAK THE CHAIN.
And on April 14th 2014, I simply forgot to write. And now the chain is broken.
I woke up that morning I realized what I had done.
Before I get into what followed, I should put some context into why I think I broke the chain.
It had been two months since I had worked on a specific project. There were a lot of changes in life and for some reason I was hitting walls with creating anything new — thus I had very little inspiration when it came to writing. Early drafts of scripts sat on my desk, and I couldn’t find any ambition to do rewrites. Perhaps the two years of striving, had worn me down — that’s my excuse anyways. Without the inspiration of a new fresh project at hand, I began to journal to continue my goal of writing everyday. But then one day, I forgot to. Writing seemly took a backseat — something that didn’t occur for over two years.
I woke up that morning feeling nothing by guilt. I began to over think the reason why…
Perhaps it was sign to give it all up. Stop all struggling and realize I’ll never make it. And that’s how I felt.
“What do I have now?”
There was a blank space on my calendar and I felt broken. The feeling didn’t last for long though. Because I knew, I had to be tough. It was just one day. I had still conquered quite a bit and achieved what I wanted for those two years.
I simply kept writing the following day. I started a new chain on April 15th.
I’m still struggling to get back in the groove of things — and quite honestly don’t know why that is. Some days I’ll work on the rewrites that I have put off for so long. Other days I’ll journal just to cross off the day.
Since breaking the chain that one time, I’ve done it three more times. It doesn’t hurt so much anymore…
And that hurts that it doesn’t hurt so much anymore. When did the writing become so stale and when did the dream of being a successful, working screenwriter become so distant?
It’s hard to say I suppose. But at this point, there is no turning back.
It’s like I’m waiting for that break and that inspiration again. I’m waiting for that moment of rejuvenation and reason to start working hard like before.
I don’t know when that will be, but I’m confident it will come sooner than later.
Or I could just not wait and make it happen myself…
We shall see.
But what I have is two years of major progress in my work. What I have now is another streak to continue, another goal to reach, and another reason to write more and better. I just have to sit down and do it.
Always be writing.